The EFT change process has been broken down into a nine-step approach divided into three stages to assist the therapist in guiding and tracking progress. EFT is divided into three phases:


  • This step aims at recognizing negative interaction factors that lead to conflict and identifying and reframing unpleasant emotions associated with attachment disorders. In addition, this method aids couples in seeing how their doubts and fears affect their relationship.
  • Unwanted actions (such as shutting down or escalating anger) are viewed as “protests of detachment” by partners. Instead, couples understand to be emotionally open, empathic, and connected, strengthening their attachment link and providing a safe refuge.


  • Each couple learns to disclose their emotions and demonstrate acceptance and care for one another throughout this stage. In addition, this step assists each partner in being more adaptable to the concerns of the other.
  • The method aims to lessen a couple’s tension while strengthening their emotional bond. Couples learn how to convey deep, emotional feelings and beg for their desires to be addressed by using a place of openness.

Related Reading(s): Secure Emotional Bond


  • A therapist assists the couple in developing new communication methods and practicing abilities when engaging with one another in the last step. This technique can assist couples in seeing how they’ve been able to grow and how improved interaction patterns have helped them avoid conflict.
  • New bonding interaction sequences emerge, displacing old, negative patterns like “pursue-withdraw” or “criticize-defend.” These emerging, beneficial cycles then reinforce each other, resulting in long-term improvement. As a result, the partnership becomes a safe refuge and a healing atmosphere for both parties.

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